When it comes to buying an engagement ring, the question of how much to spend can feel overwhelming. Society often throws around the “three months’ salary” rule, but is that really the right approach? In truth, the answer is more nuanced than a blanket rule, and the amount you spend should be based on personal preferences, values, and financial circumstances.
The “three months’ salary” rule: A thing of the past?
The “three months’ salary” rule for engagement rings is one that’s been popularized by jewelers over the years, but it’s important to remember that this guideline is a marketing tactic, not a necessity. The truth is, there’s no universal answer for how much an engagement ring should cost. It’s all about what feels right for you and your partner, within your budget and your values.
For me, my partner and I have been together for eight years, and we’ve spent the last few years talking about getting married. Now that we’re getting closer to making it official, we’ve started talking about engagement rings. But I’ve never been the type to prioritize spending a lot on a ring for the sake of tradition. Instead, I want the ring to be something meaningful to both of us.
What’s most important – the ring or what it symbolizes?
Ultimately, the question of how much to spend boils down to what the ring represents. It’s a symbol of commitment, but it doesn’t have to come with a hefty price tag to signify something meaningful. My partner and I are at a point where we’re planning to shop for rings together, and we’ve been considering all of our options, including heirloom rings from our families, vintage or antique rings, and lab-grown diamonds.
We both love antiquing and have enjoyed visiting shops together in the past, so the idea of exploring vintage rings feels really fun and personal to us. We’re also open to the idea of heirlooms – jewelry that has sentimental value and has been passed down through our families. For me, finding something that feels special and unique, regardless of price, is much more important than spending an arbitrary amount just because it’s expected.
Consider your budget and values
While my partner is the one who wants to purchase the ring and has set a budget, we’ve discussed the importance of being realistic about what we’re comfortable spending. We know that the amount we spend should be a reflection of our values and financial situation. At the end of the day, it’s not about impressing anyone else – it’s about finding a ring we both love that will become a part of our lives for years to come.
With so many options out there, from lab-grown diamonds to vintage finds, there’s no need to feel pressured by societal norms. Spending within your means and choosing a ring that reflects your personal taste and shared story is what truly matters.
Tips for choosing the right engagement ring:
- Set a realistic budget. Think about what you can comfortably afford without straining your finances. Remember, the ring is just one part of the journey.
- Explore all your options. Whether it’s heirloom, vintage, lab-grown, or new and natural, there are plenty of options that can help you stay within your budget while still finding a meaningful ring.
- Think long term. Choose a ring that you’ll be happy with for the long haul, since it’s something you’ll wear every day.
- It’s OK to compromise. If you’re open to different types of rings, you may find something truly special without needing to splurge.
When it comes to how much to spend on an engagement ring, there’s no universal answer. For my partner and me, it’s less about hitting a specific financial target and more about finding something meaningful and thoughtful. We’re excited to explore the options together, knowing that the perfect ring is one that reflects who we are and the life we’ll build together. Ultimately, the best choice is one that feels right for both partners, is within budget, and represents your love and commitment to each other, not the price tag.

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